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Who envied my youth and smaller nose that didn’t hook like hers
who couldn’t shield me from my father’s wrath
though her heart burned
Who praised me as pretty
but other girls’ boyfriends
attested the lie
Who encouraged and praised my writing
but other women’s publications
attested the lie
Who thought I did everything so easily
(of course she was wrong)
Who wanted more time with me
while I tried to forge myself
and pulled away, silent for months
Who, despite all, forgave me
for not being who and where she wanted
Whom I finally forgave, despite all,
for not giving me life tools of confidence and strength
Who, now, I want to thank anyway
and see her smile
And who, despite all, loved me
and cried out for me in her last hours
Author, editor, writing coach, and spiritual counselor, Noelle Sterne, PhD, has published over 700 pieces in literary and academic venues. Her handbook, Challenges in Writing Your Dissertation, addresses doctoral candidates’ nonacademic difficulties. In Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams, Noelle helps readers reach their lifelong yearnings. https://trustyourlifenow.com