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I have to shake their hands
When they step down
And smile
Always with a smile
Snap and clap
I never learned to snap my fingers
So I applaud knowing that could have been me
I’m not good enough to know critiques
To know where to go or who to follow
How to speak to someone
I do this every day but I’m not good enough
When
What magical moment will hit me that will make the image in the mirror change
Will make me stop taking it personally
They laughed for him
They snapped for her
They praised him
They’re friends in real life
Imposter syndrome they call it
Anxiety says the therapist
It feels deeper
Like a disease
Where will I fit
Who will love my words
The only words I’ve ever relied on
I have nothing left to give
So I clap as they snap
I’m lost
Yet I keep on smiling